December 2010
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To do today:
Stop talking to my parents’ Jack Russell terriers as if they’re slightly retarded two-year-olds.
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Idle hands, devil's playthings, somethingsomething
“In his spare time, Don enjoys luring transients into his underground ‘terror pit’ and euchre.”
Filed under: Sentences I inserted into an executive bio today to see if anyone’s paying attention.
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Chances this is a euphemism: High
I’m about to strike out in search of a local specialty called a “steak in a sack.”
If this turns out to be anything other than a steak sandwich in a pita, I’ll be sure to let you know.
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I'm editing one of the various employee...
Q: If you had an alter ego, who would that be?
A: Ric Foxx. He is an undercover superhero that swoops in to save abused children (and throws the abuser quite a beat down). He is a mix between Jesus, Lenny Kravitz and Bono of U2. Needless to say with those attributes he is quite the ladies man!
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Q: What should I have not had before going drinking?
A: All of those drinks.
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flandreaeats asked: I'm going to focus on your food entries, which all look delicious. Where do you get your inspiration/recipes??
rsmallbone asked: Is it true what they say about Jacksonville hotel rooms? Can you hear the breathing of the dead?
Also, you should avoid the comforter - it's just an STD sponge.
Also, you should avoid the comforter - it's just an STD sponge.
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Asked and Answered
HOLY HELL I AM BORED. And stuck in a hotel room in Jacksonville. How about you ask me horrible, horrible things?
thesemicullen asked: I lived in Japan (Okinawa, actually) for three years. While it's easy to be physically imposing - I mean, as an average-sized American male as compared to the average-sized Japanese male, what really struck me is how bad they are at dancing to punk songs.
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Some metaphors are too southern, even for the...
“Hey! Do you mind not interrupting? I’m the one fucking this pig.”
— Today in “Animal Husbandry Metaphors I wish I’d not deployed”